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Opinion: I lost my son to cancer. His journey inspired me to bring joy to other teen patients.

Scott Delgadillo before passing away at the age of 14 in 2001.
Scott Delgadillo before passing away at the age of 14 in 2001.
(Nel Cepeda/The San Diego Union-Tribune )

In honor of Scott’s memory, his closest friends came to me with an idea. They wanted to raise money to help other children with cancer.

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Delgadillo is co-founder of the Friends of Scott Foundation and lives in San Carlos.

On Jan. 29, 2001, I became a member of an exclusive club that no parent wants to join — the “I lost my child to cancer club.” There is nothing worse than watching your child suffer and feeling powerless to help.

The Friends of Scott’s Annual Unforgettable Prom — being held tonight at a local event center — is a chance for children diagnosed with cancer to have a night where they dance, laugh and create joyful memories.

March 30, 2023

It was odd when my son Scott began having one cold after another. Then during Christmas vacation, Scott and his older brother Eric came down with the flu. Two weeks later, after rest and fluids, Eric was fine, yet Scott’s illness seemed to linger. Antibiotics followed, and then Scott began having trouble breathing. At Rady Children’s Hospital, day turned into night and after a battery of tests we learned that Scott had acute lymphocytic leukemia — cancer of the blood and bone marrow. He was just 13.

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The next year was a whirlwind of doctors, nurses, treatments and hospitals stays. On the weekend of his 14th birthday, the Make A Wish Foundation made Scott’s lifelong dream come true — tickets to a University of Notre Dame home football game. At the pre-game pep rally, Scott took the microphone and shared the story of his illness and his life-long dream of attending Notre Dame — moving the audience of 12,000 students and fans to tears.

Through it all were Scott’s friends. His high school classmates were constantly at his bedside, keeping him company during his long chemotherapy sessions. Even though he was very ill, people gravitated to his outgoing personality, winning smile and positive outlook on life. With their help, he made plans to attend the Patrick Henry High School Winter Formal. Instead, his friends attended his funeral. Despite all the love and prayers, after 12 months of treatment, Scott took his final breath.

Are you familiar with the adage, when life gives you lemons, make lemonade? When Scott first died, I had to make a choice — to spend my days consumed by grief, reflecting on what could have been, or let my deep love for Scott create a new life passion. In honor of Scott’s memory, his closest friends came to me with an idea. They wanted to raise money to help other children with cancer. By 2003, their backyard barbecues and car washes grew into the Friends of Scott Foundation.

Scott’s spirit has always been my guiding light for the foundation. Scott was a vibrant and outgoing young man — he always had something going on in his social calendar. So when a pediatric oncology nurse at Rady Children’s Hospital was inspired by an episode of “Grey’s Anatomy” and asked if we could create a prom for teens with cancer, I remembered Scott’s last wish — and our signature event, the Friends of Scott’s Annual Unforgettable Prom, was born.

Prom is a night to dance, laugh and make unforgettable memories with friends. Decked out in glitzy gowns and snazzy tuxedos, our guests walk into prom on a red carpet, cheered by parents, doctors and nurses awaiting their arrival. Television reporters, photographers and surprise celebrities greet each teen as they arrive. Once inside, Unforgettable Prom features a hip DJ to ignite energy on the dance floor. Our guests munch on teen favorites like pizza and sliders, create crafts at entertainment booths and dance the night away. A towering chocolate fountain is the perennial favorite dessert, with the candy table filled with everything from gummy bears to bubble gum as the runner up. These tables can’t be missed.

For many of our young guests, the Unforgettable Prom will be their only chance to attend a prom. I remember it was a night that Scott looked forward to but never had the opportunity to experience. Now he’s helping make that dream come true for other teenagers. Although Scott lost his life to cancer, it brings me and my family such joy to see other children enjoy the Unforgettable Prom and other Friends of Scott activities, survive this devastating disease, and go on to live healthy, happy lives. For those who cannot, we try to lift their spirits and create happy, lasting memories for the family members left behind. And I pray that one day there will be no new members in the club.

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